


A Selected Account of France's Debauchery

by SenTheSeventh



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenTheSeventh/pseuds/SenTheSeventh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An account of some of France's many diplomatic relationships - and unique brand of universal love - throughout History.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Selected Account of France's Debauchery

_Worst one_

  The first time is with England, a fact that none of them could have possibly predicted. It is the result of them trying out France’s Beaujolet nouveau, teenage hormones, and a burst of audacity on England’s part. It is short, intense, and extremely bad, with lot of fumbling and accidental kicking around and complaints from both sides.

  The morning after, still recovering from one of the worst hangover of their lives, they swear to never talk about it again.

 

_Most exciting_

  Turkey is big and strong, firm hands clasping his hips as he repeatedly pound him against the wall. France is still young and hairless and thin, and maybe Turkey had not really expected a boy under those girlyclothing, but he does not seem to care, careful and knowledgeable – powerful, too, strong muscled arms pinning him against stone, tongue invading his mouth, hands holding his wrist together. France is left almost helpless with little place to move, and yet he loves every seconds of it, begs joyfully when Turkey asks him to.

  When Charles Martel stops the Saracens' invasion in 732, he almost regrets it.

 

_Most awesome_

  Prussia is awesome. At least in his mind. In reality, France needs a lot of patience to actually get things _done_ , taking care of their clothes while the other babbles happily and, well, quite drunkenly. At least he is enthusiastic, if not really talented: he compensates quality with quantity, touching and groping and biting and licking and kissed and – invading...

Which, in fact, does feel... rather nice, in the end, especially since the guy is somewhat of a fast learner –

“Tell me I’m awesome”, Russia demands, grinning broadly.

  France sighs and obeys.

 

_Most scary_

  Russia is tall. Russia is cosy (literally: he would make a great cushion). Russia is very soft and very careful and very, very scary. He asks if he is not hurting him, let him choose their positions, cuddles and pets him, showing his pleasure with genuine frankness, as if there wasn’t anything between them, the smoke of Moscow burning and the barren earth of lands destroyed by their own owners.

  France has rarely been so scared. He had rarely had such an admittedly twisted good time, though, so he takes note of pushing for even more franco-russian treaties in the future.

 

_Most exentric_

  Poland is, once again, due to alcohol; more exactly, some obscure and expensive polish liquor that the Eastern nation brought to thanks France for welcoming him into his house while Russia attempts to partition him once again.

  Poland is a bit desperate and clingy but still bold and sure of himself as of his survival. He laughs breathlessly as he straddles France and bites his neck, his words an odd mix of Polish and French, explaining how France isn’t as good as Liet but will do, really. He is wearing a garter under his red and black dancer costume. It should probably not fit him so well.

  France showers him with jewels and pretty dresses and exotic soaps until the end of his stay, and Poland begins to smile again.

 

_Most risqu_ _é_

  Japan was the one time France almost ended up tying the knot. He just pinched the guy’s butt – nothing worth remembering about, really – and, before he could realize what was happening, got dragged to a temple to take responsibility. In the end, he barely managed to escape (Thanks God for Japanese paper walls) and wisely resolved to never grope any other Asian country ever again. Except maybe for China, Korea, Tibet, Taiwan, Hong-Kong, Indonesia and some other ones.

 

_Most forgettable_

  Canada was nice and... well, nice. Nothing really out of the norms, except that it was a bit distracting to keep almost forgetting who he was sleeping with. France had to go with the hair not to call out the wrong name at the wrong moment.

 

_Best one_

... His best time, however, is not with a nation but with the whore he slept with in the evening of Louis 14's death, raw and crying and more than half-mad.

  Officially, though, it is with whoever is besides him at the time, and he sticks to this version with a charming lying smile.


End file.
